Dang it.

I just deleted my last post unintentionally...
I can't seem to get it back. So frustrating!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

The New Normal

I just decided tonight that this sporadic blog posting is officially the new normal.

Life's been a little too crazy lately.
Lots of drama.
Lots of tears.
And out of respect for my family, I'm not going to share details right now.
Just know that things are happening.
But I haven't died or anything tragic like that.
I would love your prayers.
Specifically for me, my daughter, my son.

I've got a few lighthearted posts percolating in the brain.
If I get a break, maybe I'll get 'em out.
Who knows?
I like to keep the Internet guessing...

Blogging on a Sugar Rush

I had too much sugar today, and there's no excuse for it. I've been craving sweets something fierce for several days, and today I finally caved. I gave in to the temptation.

All that to say, I may very well crash and burn at any moment. So this post may make little sense. And it may end abruptly. So continue at your own risk.

I haven't posted in nearly a week. There's no real reason for that. Though I have noticed that when I don't work out and eat right (this week) I have absolutely no energy for anything extra. Including blogging. But I've been completely lacking in the motivation department.

We have a three day weekend starting tomorrow. I plan on enjoying a lazy day around the house. Then on Saturday we have a big single parent egg hunt to go to. That's about the extent of our Easter plans, but oddly enough, I'm looking forward to just relaxing. We may set up the tent in the backyard tomorrow if the weather is nice. I've been wanting to camp out in the backyard for a while now. We'll see.

Maybe if I lay off the sugar I can find some motivation....

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

What I'm Embracing- the DVR edition

I'm attempting to get back into the swing of consistent blogging. What I'm embracing was a weekly feature I was trying out back in January. I love finding and trying new things and sharing them with my loved ones. This week I thought I'd share my Top Ten favorite TV shows as of now.

As I was compiling my list I realized that there were many more that I wanted to add...so these are my current faves. Later on I'm going to do a "TV childhood memories" edition.


10. Chopped- This new show on Food Network became an instant family favorite...who knew that all three of us would be into a cooking show?! We especially enjoyed the "mac and cheese, cola, and bacon" episode.

9. Sonny with a Chance- I'm not gonna lie. I'll own the fact that I love me some Disney Channel. Especially this Demi Lovato. I'm so over Hannah Montana. This new show genuinely has me laughing out loud.

8. Ace of Cakes- Grace begs to watch this show...and I'll admit I love it too. I have a slight crush on this one guy on the show. But that's a whole 'nother post. Coming soon.

7. Table for 12- This show is brand spankin' new, and Grace and I were smitten from the first episode. Maybe it's because of all the red hair. Watch out, Jon and Kate. I'm afraid you're being edged out.

6. The Big Bang Theory- I've been watching this one for quite a while. That Sheldon...he has me laughing out loud every. single. week.

5. The Biggest Loser- I don't think this one needs any explanation...

4. The Office- I've had a love/hate relationship with the Office this season. It just doesn't seem the same. But I'm holding out. I can't give up that easily.

3. 24- I've seen every episode of every season. Jack Bauer. Chloe O'Brian. Enough said. (Well, I will add that we haven't seen near enough of Chloe this season. Do you hear that, 24 writers?)

2. Prison Break- I'm working my way through season 3 in anticipation for April 17th's premiere. Michael Scofield would be right up there with Jack Bauer in my book. (You know, if I had a book.)

1. LOST- Yes, I gave the #1 spot to the most confusing show on television. I've seen every single episode. And I'm still not sure what's going on. I have a general theory, but I can tell you one thing. If it's just one big cruel loop with the show ending with the crash of Oceanic 815...well, I might go a little beserk. But I just can't stop watching...I love a show that really makes me think.

I Wonder...

I wonder...

Will I ever get a handle on this single parenting?

Will I ever get to a point where I don't secondguess every decision I make?

Will I ever love again? Date again? Marry again?

Will Caleb ever understand that the discipline I give is truly for his good?

Will it rain tomorrow?

Will I have the drive and motivation to complete my degree?

Will Grace still want to sleep in my bed when she's in middle school? High school?

Will I be her best friend when she grows up?

Will Caleb wake up in a foul mood?

Will he know that I really do love him even when he makes a poor choice?

Will Facebook be around in five years? Or will it be replaced by something cooler and bigger?

Will I still care about the mentally ill even when I'm not working with them everyday?

Will I always desire to make a difference?

Will I ever lose 10% so we can get Wii Fit?

Will we go to the egg hunt tomorrow or will we just loll about at home?

Will Jack and his daughter Kim ever be reunited?

Will they ever make it off the island or is it just a crazy cruel loop the writers forced us to endure?

Will the battery die before I finish this post?

When I've breathed my last breath, will I have left a legacy of love for God and others?

-written while lying bed trying to go to sleep on April 3, 2009 at 11:37 pm.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Growing Pains

Right at this very minute I am lying in bed wishing the mechanics of my brain would cease their functions at least temporarily. Just long enough for me to fall asleep. But since that's unlikely to happen, I'm blogging from my phone. That's right. From my beautiful wonderful glorious iPhone. I love it. Just a little.

Since I have yet to procure the appropriate funds to purchase a laptop and the desktop is all the way in the other room and I'm too lazy to move any large muscles, the phone it shall be. I'm actually getting pretty good at typing on these tiny little keys.

I'm lying here trying to decide what I want to share with the Internet tonight. It's not as if I live this wildly fascinating life. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Lately, it seems like I keep running into people who are really living it up. Both in real life and online. People who are going out, even on weeknights! Gasp! They're dating and going to other countries and basically just living an adventurous full life.

I, on the other hand. I was really going to finish that previous sentence until I realized that I didn't anything to end it with. Maybe those mechanics are slowing down and I should seize the opportunity for sleep...

Nah...

I'm not upset with my life at all. I love my life. It's just that I've been doing some introspection. I realize that I missed out on many experiences growing up. Then I jumped into marriage at 20. Baby at 21. Divorce at 25. Death of my husband at 26. I'm not whining, I promise.

I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. And odd as it may seem, I wouldn't trade my past experiences either. Even the traumatic ones.

But I do know this: We NEVER stop growing. I hope I never get to a point where I think I've arrived. I know there are issues in my life that need work. I know that, in many ways, I'm still that nerdy awkward girl who had trouble making new friends. I am so grateful to have a Savior who gets me. Who loves me enough to make me uncomfortable. Must be growing pains.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]