Embracing and being embraced

San Antonio Vacay

2009-07-03T13:32:00.001-05:00

I haven't been around due to some serious computer issues that have yet to be resolved. But no fear...I found an app that will allow me to post both text and pictures. Yeah!!

We went to San Antonio last week with the single parents from church. We spent two days at Seaworld and an evening at the Alamo and riverwalk. We had such a great time!

(I can only post the pics I took on my phone right now...I have so many more to share later!)

Dang it.

2009-04-27T23:16:00.000-05:00

I just deleted my last post unintentionally...
I can't seem to get it back. So frustrating!

The New Normal

2009-04-26T21:15:00.002-05:00

I just decided tonight that this sporadic blog posting is officially the new normal.

Life's been a little too crazy lately.
Lots of drama.
Lots of tears.
And out of respect for my family, I'm not going to share details right now.
Just know that things are happening.
But I haven't died or anything tragic like that.
I would love your prayers.
Specifically for me, my daughter, my son.

I've got a few lighthearted posts percolating in the brain.
If I get a break, maybe I'll get 'em out.
Who knows?
I like to keep the Internet guessing...

Blogging on a Sugar Rush

2009-04-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

I had too much sugar today, and there's no excuse for it. I've been craving sweets something fierce for several days, and today I finally caved. I gave in to the temptation.

All that to say, I may very well crash and burn at any moment. So this post may make little sense. And it may end abruptly. So continue at your own risk.

I haven't posted in nearly a week. There's no real reason for that. Though I have noticed that when I don't work out and eat right (this week) I have absolutely no energy for anything extra. Including blogging. But I've been completely lacking in the motivation department.

We have a three day weekend starting tomorrow. I plan on enjoying a lazy day around the house. Then on Saturday we have a big single parent egg hunt to go to. That's about the extent of our Easter plans, but oddly enough, I'm looking forward to just relaxing. We may set up the tent in the backyard tomorrow if the weather is nice. I've been wanting to camp out in the backyard for a while now. We'll see.

Maybe if I lay off the sugar I can find some motivation....

What I'm Embracing- the DVR edition

2009-04-04T20:47:00.004-05:00

I'm attempting to get back into the swing of consistent blogging. What I'm embracing was a weekly feature I was trying out back in January. I love finding and trying new things and sharing them with my loved ones. This week I thought I'd share my Top Ten favorite TV shows as of now.

As I was compiling my list I realized that there were many more that I wanted to add...so these are my current faves. Later on I'm going to do a "TV childhood memories" edition.

10. Chopped- This new show on Food Network became an instant family favorite...who knew that all three of us would be into a cooking show?! We especially enjoyed the "mac and cheese, cola, and bacon" episode.

9. Sonny with a Chance- I'm not gonna lie. I'll own the fact that I love me some Disney Channel. Especially this Demi Lovato. I'm so over Hannah Montana. This new show genuinely has me laughing out loud.

8. Ace of Cakes- Grace begs to watch this show...and I'll admit I love it too. I have a slight crush on this one guy on the show. But that's a whole 'nother post. Coming soon.

7. Table for 12- This show is brand spankin' new, and Grace and I were smitten from the first episode. Maybe it's because of all the red hair. Watch out, Jon and Kate. I'm afraid you're being edged out.

6. The Big Bang Theory- I've been watching this one for quite a while. That Sheldon...he has me laughing out loud every. single. week.

5. The Biggest Loser- I don't think this one needs any explanation...

4. The Office- I've had a love/hate relationship with the Office this season. It just doesn't seem the same. But I'm holding out. I can't give up that easily.

3. 24- I've seen every episode of every season. Jack Bauer. Chloe O'Brian. Enough said. (Well, I will add that we haven't seen near enough of Chloe this season. Do you hear that, 24 writers?)

2. Prison Break- I'm working my way through season 3 in anticipation for April 17th's premiere. Michael Scofield would be right up there with Jack Bauer in my book. (You know, if I had a book.)

1. LOST- Yes, I gave the #1 spot to the most confusing show on television. I've seen every single episode. And I'm still not sure what's going on. I have a general theory, but I can tell you one thing. If it's just one big cruel loop with the show ending with the crash of Oceanic 815...well, I might go a little beserk. But I just can't stop watching...I love a show that really makes me think.

I Wonder...

2009-04-03T23:38:00.000-05:00

I wonder...

Will I ever get a handle on this single parenting?

Will I ever get to a point where I don't secondguess every decision I make?

Will I ever love again? Date again? Marry again?

Will Caleb ever understand that the discipline I give is truly for his good?

Will it rain tomorrow?

Will I have the drive and motivation to complete my degree?

Will Grace still want to sleep in my bed when she's in middle school? High school?

Will I be her best friend when she grows up?

Will Caleb wake up in a foul mood?

Will he know that I really do love him even when he makes a poor choice?

Will Facebook be around in five years? Or will it be replaced by something cooler and bigger?

Will I still care about the mentally ill even when I'm not working with them everyday?

Will I always desire to make a difference?

Will I ever lose 10% so we can get Wii Fit?

Will we go to the egg hunt tomorrow or will we just loll about at home?

Will Jack and his daughter Kim ever be reunited?

Will they ever make it off the island or is it just a crazy cruel loop the writers forced us to endure?

Will the battery die before I finish this post?

When I've breathed my last breath, will I have left a legacy of love for God and others?

-written while lying bed trying to go to sleep on April 3, 2009 at 11:37 pm.

Growing Pains

2009-04-02T22:26:00.000-05:00

Right at this very minute I am lying in bed wishing the mechanics of my brain would cease their functions at least temporarily. Just long enough for me to fall asleep. But since that's unlikely to happen, I'm blogging from my phone. That's right. From my beautiful wonderful glorious iPhone. I love it. Just a little.

Since I have yet to procure the appropriate funds to purchase a laptop and the desktop is all the way in the other room and I'm too lazy to move any large muscles, the phone it shall be. I'm actually getting pretty good at typing on these tiny little keys.

I'm lying here trying to decide what I want to share with the Internet tonight. It's not as if I live this wildly fascinating life. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Lately, it seems like I keep running into people who are really living it up. Both in real life and online. People who are going out, even on weeknights! Gasp! They're dating and going to other countries and basically just living an adventurous full life.

I, on the other hand. I was really going to finish that previous sentence until I realized that I didn't anything to end it with. Maybe those mechanics are slowing down and I should seize the opportunity for sleep...

Nah...

I'm not upset with my life at all. I love my life. It's just that I've been doing some introspection. I realize that I missed out on many experiences growing up. Then I jumped into marriage at 20. Baby at 21. Divorce at 25. Death of my husband at 26. I'm not whining, I promise.

I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. And odd as it may seem, I wouldn't trade my past experiences either. Even the traumatic ones.

But I do know this: We NEVER stop growing. I hope I never get to a point where I think I've arrived. I know there are issues in my life that need work. I know that, in many ways, I'm still that nerdy awkward girl who had trouble making new friends. I am so grateful to have a Savior who gets me. Who loves me enough to make me uncomfortable. Must be growing pains.

Park Guy meets Girl with man fear.

2009-03-31T23:33:00.000-05:00

I said I would post about park guy, but I should warn you in advance. There's not much of a story to share. It was meaningful for me. But you should be reminded that I'm the girl who has dated two men in her whole lifetime, who hasn't dated in over 8 years, and who still has some lingering "man fear" issues. Anytime I even talk to a potentially available man, it's a milestone.

Sunday evening, after dropping my daughter off at bible study, my 8 year old son begged to go to the park. Being the fabulous mom that I am, I assented. I even promised him a lightsabre rematch. For his birthday, he purchased a second lightsabre, and now it's our favorite mother/son bonding experience. I can totally wipe the floor with him. Who would have thought I'd make an awesome clone trooper? (I really don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to star wars, but I still try to fake it!)

Anyhow, back to the story. So there we were, with our lightsabres in hand, attracting an audience. This man and his son come over and just watch us for what felt like a good five minutes. I, being the weirdo that I am, wish that they would just move along. Can't they see that I'm trying to bond with my son? If I'm being completely honest, I would tell you that I was just a little scared at the prospect of conversing with this man who it seemed might be ringless. Finally, I offer my lightsabre to his son when I realize they aren't moving on. Pure joy for the kids, but me...not so much.

Have I mentioned how awkward I am around men? Especially potentially available men? I keep saying potentially available because I'm not sure that he isn't married. I'm not very good at reading the signs and knowing if someone is truly interested in me. Remember the crush?? Totally read that one wrong!

Anyhow park guy introduced himself and we ended up talking off and on for a while since our kids were playing together. Come to find out, we have some mutual friends, he's familiar with the americorps program I serve in, and he teaches at school where our program serves. Small world.

That's really the extent of it. I really thought he might ask for my number, but he didn't and I didn't offer it. In fact, at the time, I wasn't interested that much. But now, I can't stop thinking about the whole deal. I can't stop thinking about him. Probably because things like this never happen to me. Men never approach me. I've been told I put off a "stay away" vibe. It's like they can sense my fear and unease.

So this is a big deal for me even if nothing ever comes of it. I faced a fear and came out unharmed. And for today, that is enough.

Write well, or just write crap. Whatever.

2009-03-31T21:48:00.002-05:00

Hello there.

I always want to come back with something clever when I've been gone so long. But...honestly. I feel as if my brain has transformed to mush. As if I am incapable of writing well...

It's not as if I am lacking in ideas for posts. I just can't seem to transfer my thoughts very well right now.

My subconscious philsophy recently has been "Write well, or don't write at all." This should explain the lack of posting.

But I decided just now to adopt a new writing philisophy that goes a little something like this:

"Write well, or just write crap. Whatever. Just write something."

Maybe if I write something everyday, I will eventually write something good.

So I think that will be all I write for tonight.

Tomorrow I will write about how I met a man at the park. Unless I chicken out first.

Are you wearing your green?

2009-03-17T08:41:00.001-05:00

I am. This is just about the only green thing that I own!

Grace and Caleb had to wear their uniforms today so we had to be creative...

Caleb is wearing a green tshirt under his uniform shirt while Grace is sporting a lovely green ponytail and clip!

Kidsview

2009-03-13T00:06:00.000-05:00

We've got a new favorite park in a town about 30 miles down the road. We try to get over there every chance we get. This park was built by an all-volunteer workforce in 5 days! It's amazing really...you can read more about it HERE. Besides the park, there is a $1 movie theater just 5 minutes down the road. We've seen Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Bedtime Stories, Inkheart, and Bolt all for just a dollar apiece! Woo Hoo! That's almost as good as free...

The kids and I love playing "Flush out the Fox", or Hide and Seek, for all of you who are uninformed. I swear my kids could play here for hours and hours. It's huge!

Just a portion of the park

My monkey boy

The only down side: the bathrooms have had to be closed due to vandalism.

They have port-a-potties, but ewww!

How cute are these glasses?

2009-03-12T21:06:00.001-05:00

I'm a little excited about my new Ikean glasses...I scored a set of six for $6.99! I especially love the ones with the mushrooms.

Sibling Love

2009-03-07T08:58:00.003-06:00

We went to this amazing park last weekend. (It was windy and freezing, but we're headed back there today with a much better forecast)...and I decided I wanted a sweet brother/sister picture. I've decided I'm just gonna start clicking until I get the one I want. This was the natural progression of things.

Get your stinky hands off me!!

Are you putting bunny ears on me?? Stop it!! Okay, we gotta take a good one, or Mom's never going to let us go play!

Catching Up

2009-03-06T21:24:00.004-06:00

Okay, enough with the bloggy break...I have no excuses...
I've wanted to start posts, but it seems that once I haven't written in a while it's so hard to get back in the swing of things.

So what have I been up to...

I've lost 14 pounds!! Working out and eating right has completely consumed my time lately. I'm finding that I can only focus really well on one thing at a time, and my health has been the focus lately.

Cooking at home really takes some time, especially when you go the healthy route. So between homework, dinner, and working out there's been no time left for blogging. I suppose there is. But there's also LOST, 24, and Prison Break (which I'm still working my way through in anticipation of the premiere in April).

I've been struggling lately with church. There's been a tugging in my heart to go back to Green Acres, where we left last year. Green Acres is a humongous monster church with over 12,000 members. We left because I needed a change to take place in my heart. I wrote about it here. Look in the tags labeled Body Journey. I believe God has truly changed my heart I don't feel obligated to go anymore. But I do think Green Acres may be the place we need to be right now. Mainly because my daughter is going to middle school next year. She has so many friends and connections at GA, and I feel that she would connect well there. Especially headed off to the student department.

With all that said, I'm not making any hasty decisions...still praying it through.

Oh, and I guess it's obvious that I have a new blog layout...I thought I'd try this one out for a while... LeeLou Blogs has the cutest FREE blog layouts! Check her out!

I have this new Iphone, and let me tell you, I don't know how I've lived without it! I LOVE it! I can keep all my appointments, track my WW points, listen to FREE internet radio, keep track of my grocery list, EVERYTHING.

For my kids' birthdays, they decided to forego the traditional parties in favor of getting a bigger present from me. So for both of their birthdays I got them a Wii! So much fun...I totally dominate on Wii Golf. Well, for the four times I've played it so far...

So I guess that's it for now. Rest assured it will not be a month before I post again. I'm back this time. I hope.

I have a new phone!

2009-02-01T12:07:00.000-06:00

I finally got my new phone! I am so excited! This iPhone does just about everything...so I naturally couldn't wait to try out iblogger.

The Year of the Lego

2009-01-28T00:05:00.000-06:00

They are TAKING OVER!!!

Exercise is cramping my blogging style.

2009-01-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

No pun intended. Seriously. I'm finding that I'm not able to keep up with all the blogs I want to read and comment on. Especially during the week. That's because the hour or so that I used to spend on butt in front of the computer is now spent with my new best friend. He's seriously working my butt off...

I hate this love/hate relationship with BL Boot Camp especially now that I've made it to Level 2...

And on a somewhat related note, who's watching Biggest Loser with me? I've been watching for the last three seasons, and I have to say that I get extremely motivated by this show! But let me tell you, I have never in my life laughed so hard as I did during this moment...

I really really wish she would STOP TALKING. But I have a confession. I am secretly glad she didn't go home. She adds so much drama, and I'm secretly hoping that Bob goes off on her again. That was seriously the highlight of the season.

What I'm Embracing- #4

2009-01-24T11:27:00.004-06:00

Hungry Girl- This is by far my favorite website of the week! I love Hungry Girl...She has archived material all the way back to 2004. Needless to say, I've been poring and sometimes even drooling over her delectable AND healthy recipes all week.

Trueish- This new message series by Craig Groeschel has really impacted me this week...I can't wait for more...

Extra gum- Biggest Loser really does suck me in with all their advertising...but I've got to say that chewing gum through my afternoon really does help. Also, if I were to win 5 training sessions with Bob...well, there are truly no words that could describe my ecstasy!

Working out- I really feel like I've found my groove...I'm starting to see the weight drop off, and I'm really pushing myself to a whole new level! It's exciting...

Mom's Promises

2009-01-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, my mom was sharing with me how she had made some New Year's promises. I thought I might just share them here since they just about blew me away. Mom, you're an amazing woman and I'm proud to call you Mom. I love you...

N- Nourish myself on God's Word. I will consider the Word of God nourishment to my soul, just as food is to my body.

Psalm 119:15-16 "I will meditate on Your precepts, and contemplate Your ways. I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your words."

E- Escape from all the cares of the world and learn to withdraw from normalcy. I will do this one time each week.

W- Worship...I will seek out opportunities to worship in new ways throughout my daily activities.

Psalm 95:6-7 "O come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord our Maker. For He is God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand."

Y- Yoke myself with new people who are different from me. I will get out of my comfort zone (being around Christian people) and seek out others who are not just like me.

E- Eternal...I will focus more on what is eternal. I won't be as concerned with "earthly" things.

2 Corinthians 4:18 "We do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

A- Assurance...I will rest in the assurance that God is still in control.

2 Timothy 4:18 "And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom...To Him be glory forever and ever, Amen."

R- Rejoice...I will learn to rejoice in everything. I will develop a life like Paul had. Even in hard times, I will rejoice.

Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice."

Little Me

2009-01-21T00:39:00.000-06:00

I found a whole slew of old pictures over the holidays...it's been such fun to scan 'em and tweak them using Picnik!

I just love the second one...very vintage-y!

Army Night- Family Night #12?

2009-01-20T00:00:00.000-06:00

I just guessed that this was our 12th family night...

One of my resolutions this year involved getting back to having family nights once a week.

Kim and her boys threw on their camo garb and joined us for Army night!

Our hastily thrown together centerpiece....

We got our hands on some military rations (I won't say how...that's confidential)

I let Caleb and Grace use their newly acquired pocket knives to open their meal...it seemed appropriate until Caleb opened his up and immediately sliced his finger open (He has okay after visiting the medic (aka Mom)...Grace's veggie burger with bbq sauce...everything you see was included in the rations (even the tea mix!)We then subjected the privates to boot camp (Bob style) To end the evening, we made card to send to our soldiers...

Call and Response

2009-01-19T00:00:00.003-06:00

I went to see this movie on Monday night, and it's taken me this long to really form my thoughts. The honest truth is that I really don't want to write about it. I've avoided writing about it.

Not because I don't care about the message though. I do. I really really do.

But I care about a lot of things. I care about Africa. I care about starving children. I care about the people who are struggling right here where I live. I care about those who don't have clean water to drink.

I do what I can to make a difference in all of these. This blog has been (and will continue to be) a platform where I share with you about the things that I care about.

But when I saw this movie Monday night...well, I became overwhelmed. My activistic (is that even a word??) heart felt ready to burst. I wanted to leave that theater and sign up with IJM. Not realistic at all, but that's my heart.

Here's what I've decided. I don't want to be one of those people who jumps on every big issue for a few weeks, only to fizzle out when the fanfare's gone. I don't want to form a response in the heat of the moment. It's a lot like love. Love's not the same as lust. Love is a commitment. Love lasts when lust leaves town.

Lust identifies itself with intensity, passion, desire, yearning, and ardent enthusiasm.

Love identifies with these same characteristics but goes so much deeper. Love is a decision I make when I choose to keep on making a difference when everyone has moved on to the next big thing.

Love in action is what WILL end modern day slavery. But it will take commitment. And the honest truth? Commitment is something our generation struggles with. Sure, we can jump onboard when the big show comes to town. But what about later? What about every day?

I'm speaking this to myself. I struggle with staying committed. So I decided I would lay all my cards on the table. I can't do this. I really can't.

But Christ in me. He can do all things. In me. It's amazing actually. I can't make a difference when I come at this big thing in my own power. But Christ in me. He's got it covered.

So my response doesn't really matter. It's HIS response in me (and YOU) that can set the captives free.

Call and Response

P.S. It seems appropriate that this shoud post on MLK day.

What I'm Embracing- #3

2009-01-17T16:35:00.001-06:00

The Year of Crockpotting- This lady used her crockpot EVERY single day last year. Check out the light and healthy post category! It's inspired me to dust mine off and make an effort to use it more often. In fact, I have BBQ chicken legs in mine right now!

Call and Response- I went to see this rockumentary last week, and I'm posting about it at length tomorrow...

Pound for Pound Challenge- If you're watching the Biggest Loser this season, you probably already know about this...for every pound you lose, they will donate enought for one pound of food to Feeding America.

We have to go back, Kate - In 4 days...and for all who are truly obsessed, here ya go...

Don't worry...I've got a "plan".

2009-01-16T15:48:00.003-06:00

I'm having a hard time with the blogging. Can you tell?

I made a few goals for myself this year, and those goals are seriously interfering with my blogging schedule.

Mainly I decided that now that I'm in my 30's, I can't be acting like I did in college and staying up all hours of the night.

Guess when I did all my blogging?

And I've added working out to my evening routine... so something's had to give. Sadly, it's been the blogging.

But fear not. I have a plan.

Blogging on the weekends. I "plan" to write all my blog posts on the weekend and schedule them to post through out the week. Notice the "plan" is in quotations? That's because this is just a theory...I'm not sure it's actually going to work.

But I'm going to give it my best shot. We'll see.

What I'm Embracing- #2

2009-01-10T11:00:00.000-06:00

Psalm 18- this chapter was one of my daily readings this week, and it has just blown me away. My God is not weak. He is powerful and mighty and able.

Internet Church- Just go check it out. Amazing. I'm so jazzed to get a chance to worship with people all across the globe...

Prison Break: Season One- Love this show! I just started watching this past weekend, and already Michael Scofield is giving Jack Bauer a run for his money in my top television hero category.

Matthew 5:13-16- the scripture I'm memorizing this month...and our family mission scripture.

I've got a couple of other links to share, but they need their very own post! I'll be sharing in the coming week...